I Think I Hate You: Signs Your Marriage Isn't Working
POSTED: Friday, October 26, 2012 - 3:28pm
UPDATED: Tuesday, November 13, 2012 - 2:02pm
Like symptoms of the common cold, the tell tale signs that a relationship is heading towards relation-splitsville are hard to ignore. The ultimate fear of any married couple is the possibility that things may not work out. So how can you tell if your relationship is unraveling or your just going through a rough patch? Every relationship experiences challenges and minor problems that are easily and quickly resolved with adequate communication and effort. If you are experiencing multiple ongoing issues described in this article, you may need to raise a larger concern on the state of your relationship.
You've Stopped Having Sex
Lack of interest in, or lack of all sex altogether usually is a pretty clear indicator that something is up in your relationship. In the book "Sexperiment: 7 Days to Lasting Intimacy with Your Spouse" by Ed Young, the mega church preacher indicates that sex is a very important part of a marriage. The Dallas-based pastor also touches on issues of obligation and feeling owned by your spouse. Young points out that it's easy for spouses to forget to be a spouse between playing the roles of mother, father, co-worker, boss, coach, teacher, etc.
You Hate Hanging Out With One Another
Can the two of you genuinely sit and enjoy the company of one another? Between jobs and family it's hard to get that one-on-one time with your spouse, if you prefer spending that unique time doing something else or being around other people, it's time to reflect on your relationship. The Indian Express suggests going out once a week and sharing some wine. Researchers questioned 1,500 couples on their dating and drinking habits and found that concordance brings on happiness within couples. So don't be afraid to crack open a fresh bottle of red.
You Don't Laugh or Smile
Generally, how do you feel in the presence of your spouse? Do the two of you laugh and and joke around? Do you look to your spouse to alleviate stress and improve a bad day? Finding time to joke around and finding humor in your day-to-day lives together will bring lightheartedness to any couple. Remembering why you are together in the first place is helpful in bridging any gaps that come with years of being together. See a funny movie or a stand-up show, or flip through some old pictures. If none of those tickle your coupled funny bone then something is definitely the matter.
When You Think of The Future—It's Not With Your Spouse
Your spouse should be someone you can see yourself growing old with and loving unconditionally. If this isn't so, there is a problem. Rather it come from a place of personal insecurity with the aging process, or a lack of confidence in the ability to love or keep your relationship strong for that long there are some underlining issues that are not being given enough attention to. Psychology Today suggests "looking before you leap," when it comes to considering divorce, and making sure you are ready for alone time again, because you'll have plenty of it. Weigh out, thoroughly, the pros and cons of the issues that are hindering your marriage and see how you can work them out, either amongst yourselves or with advice from a counselor.
You Don't Trust One Another
Trust is arguably the most important aspect of any and all relationships. See trust as the foundation to a relationship. If you don't have a strong foundation your relationship is bound to be unstable. Think of it like you would the foundation to a home. A long-lasting home must be built on firm ground in order to survive.